Hello, my fellow Americans. Today, I would like to share a story with you. Doud Dwight Eisenhower was born on September 24, 1917 and was nicknamed "Icky" by his parents. He died three years afterward. Then, a man named David Dwight Eisenhower was born, and he would go on to become President of the United States of America. I am that man.
It all started in a small farm house in Texas where I was born. I soon grew up happily and was on the football team at my high school. I then joined the army, where a nickname was given to me: "Ike." I eventually got to the rank of 5-star general officer. I helped serve in several wars, such as World War II. After I left the army, I started getting involved in politics and ran for President of the United States. My catch-phrase was quick and simple: "I Like Ike."
When I became President, I kept many of the "New Deal" programs, which were programs that helped poor and disadvantaged people in the world get restitution and possibly help them get out of the gutter, such as social security. I kept those programs that were underway in place, and I had even striven to make them better. One of the things I did was institute a new agency called the the department of health, education, and welfare. That helped make life better for people who were disadvantaged, such as people who were homeless or moneyless. Although that program is shut down, an agency that is still around now was spawned out of it: the department of education.
Another thing that I did as president is something that you all will probably thank me for: I signed the bill and helped build the Interstate Highway System, or as you fancy kids probably refer to now as "the highway." You crazy kids, shortening your names and such. Anyway, I originally wanted to build the Interstate Highway System because they would make quick escape routes for people if that city was ever caught up in a war, and it would make it easier for the military to move into the city. However, I soon realized that it would also be easy for citizens to regularly travel through them so they could get to their destinations more quickly.
One more thing that I did as president back then was support the trial of Brown vs. the board of education of Topeka. I believe that all students should have a right to have the same quality of education and the quality of education that they get shouldn't be decided on their skin color. When Washington D.C.'s schools became non-segregated, I told all Americans that Washington D.C. should be a role model for the rest of the country and that we should all treat each other equally.
Since I was so compassionate about human life and treating humans equally, I am guessing that if I was still alive today and had a brain that could function, I would allow same-sex marriage because it is essentially all about treating other human beings equally and fairly. I would probably also allow the death penalty, because I realize that when an innocent human life is lost, it is a tragedy and a life-changing experience for so many different people, and the person who ruthlessly murdered somebody who caused such an impact on other peoples' lives should be punished.
I would also probably be against high taxes because I believe that humans are already trying to survive with what they have, and many of them are in troubled and tough times, and not much of their hard-earned money should be taken away from them.
Well, thank you for listening to my speech. I know it may be hard to keep all of the information I spewed at you in your brain, but if you were going to remember one thing, remember this: "I Like Ike."
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